I can see!!!!

Story continued from Visionaries

The last two weeks have been hard.  I've heard so many stories of people who for one reason or another don't have the use of one of their eyes and my heart breaks for them!  How they do it, I don't know!  There have been several times when I have gotten frustrated and felt so useless!  I could see enough to read and watch TV only if I had a bandanna covering my bad eye because of the weird blind spot I was experiencing, but it was causing me headaches.  I have had to get rides every where I wanted to go - and thank God people have been there for me to offer those rides!  But I am looking forward to getting behind the wheel of my car, listening to what I want to hear on the radio, and singing at the top of my lungs!

Today, November 16, 2010, my surgery was scheduled for 2:00.  I arrived at the hospital at noon as instructed, registered, and was taken back for surgery right away.  Apparently Dr. Patel was ahead of schedule!

Robert had withdrawn the money for the surgery from Murphy's account yesterday and had already paid my bill.  What a relief and a gift and oh my God I don't have words to express the level of my gratitude!!!

They began by putting a lot of drops in my eyes.  Then I was given an IV.  I began to feel really relaxed.  I thought it was because they had started the anesthesia in the IV, but I found out later they had only given me saline solution to begin with.

I was wheeled into another room and Dr. Patel came to visit me.  I was so excited to see him and talk about the non-profit, but then the nurses began poking and prodding on me, so I told him I should probably tell him more tomorrow.  I was given what I think is called a nasal cannula and told that they would be administering the anesthesia now.  "Oh, you haven't given me that already?" I asked.  I like to think that the reason I was so relaxed is because I was covered in so much prayer.  I'm not even sure I ever even felt the anesthesia, and might doubt that it had been administered except for the fact that Dad had to pull over on the way home because I was about to throw up.

I'm glad I was given something to relax me because the next part was pretty scary.  They draped me in something that I think covered all of my face except for my right eye, and told me to keep my left eye open, and look at the light.  I thought, "What light?"  I couldn't tell for sure if my left eye was open or not and it seemed like a struggle to keep it open.  I could see a box of what looked like light, so I worked hard to look in its direction.  Then I saw lots of colors.  I could feel poking and prodding and pulling on my eyeball and it scared me.  I was gasping under the cover and thinking this might be the longest 10 minutes of my life.  It didn't really hurt, I was just afraid it would. 

Next, I saw a beautiful orange and black lines which I think may have been a liquid pooling in my eye.  Then, I saw what looked like someone making shadow figures of a scalpel on an orange wall.  There was more gasping!  Then, it was over!

"OK, good job," Dr. Patel was saying.  I looked and I saw him!  My next thought was, "Mom's right, he is a really handsome man."

"Oh I can see!!!" I said.  Then I started to cry.  (Those of you who know me will not be surprised by this.)

The nurses and Dr. Patel said that it was great that I could see, because that usually doesn't happen so fast and that it would get better as the day went on.  They said my eye was swollen and as the swelling went down, my vision would improve.  They put a patch on my eye that I think looks like a cheese grater, but smooth, and I can see through the holes.  I have to wear this until my visit with Dr. Patel tomorrow.

We were out of there in no time!  The rain had cleared and when we walked outside I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the sky and leaves on the trees!  I felt great until we got almost home and then I broke out into a sweat all over and asked Dad to pull over...but you don't need those details.

Once home, I laid down and slept for almost 4 hours.  I have 3 different kinds of drops to put in my eyes at different intervals, so I lift up the patch and drop them in and then replace the patch.  My eye looks dilated still.  I hope that's OK!!!

There is little to no pain.  I just feel a little sore around my eye.  All I am taking is Tylenol!

But wait!  There's more!!  I had been worrying about the Articles of Incorporation and the Bylaws for this non-profit.  I like to say that I've seen how well attorneys do accounting and I don't think they should do any, and that as an accountant, I probably should not do any lawyering.  The Articles and Bylaws are really a job for a lawyer.  Well, I spoke to a friend tonight who just happens to know an attorney who is in charge of pro-bono work at his firm and is willing to do them for us!!  It's like God wants this thing to happen and I am thrilled!!

It has been a great day!!

Visionaries

Story continued from A Vision For My Vision

I walked out of Dr. Patel's office overjoyed by the idea that I would be able to help him set up his non-profit.  I called my friend, Amy, who shared in my joy and then explained what she had been doing that very morning.  I'm not privy to the Facebook thread, nor the email, nor other fundraising efforts, but she told me that she had sent out an email at 8:30 a.m. and that in three hours she had received pledges for half the cost of my surgery.  She also explained that the account that had been set up for Murphy the dog has been being used to collect the money.

One-eyed me and my seeing-eye dog, Murphy.

My surgery would have cost more with Dr. Patel's fee, but the remaining facility fee, price of the new lens and anesthesia has since been covered by donations.  I am without words to express my gratitude.  I keep asking God, "Is this OK to take money from people?"  I keep getting told that it is.  I keep praying that God takes every donation, blesses the donor and multiplies it. 

How on Earth someone so unworthy has become the recipient of so much love and generosity, I do not know.  Grace = unmerited favor.  These friends, these visionaries, have taught me more about God's love by loving me.  They are teaching me about pride vs. humility, the difference between "taking" and "receiving", and that it is selfish for me to deny gifts from people because I will then be denying them the blessings they will receive from giving.  These are new concepts for me - totally foreign.  They are teaching me the meaning of "blind faith" - walking face first into the darkness, stepping off the cliff to find a path under my feet.

May God bless the visionaries.

Continued...

A Vision For My Vision

Story continued from Blind Faith

I made an appointment with a Cataract, Refractive & Corneal Surgeon named Milan R. Patel, M.D.   The "cataract eval", as it was called, was going to cost $250, and I'd just spent my last dime on the eye doctor a few days prior, so I borrowed the money from my parents.

What was I thinking?  Honestly, I don't know.  I wasn't scared.  I was just taking the next right action and walking in faith.  For months I had been on a spiritual journey and for some reason I just knew God would take care of me.  I had been learning that I was a child of God (we all are) and that my job was to show up and His job was to do for me what I could not do for myself. 

But I have to back track a little again...
Around the middle of October, 2010, I had been sitting in my car outside the grocery store, watching people walk in and out.  I was on my lunch hour, and I had $1.50 to my name - in change - and I was hungry.  I was talking to God and writing in a journal and here is some of what I said:

God, I don't know why I keep finding myself in this situation where I am completely broke.  I know I have made some really poor choices in my life and I've been a poor steward of your gifts.  I am able-bodied and you have given me talents that I have squandered.  I want to do better, but I'm scared and insecure.  I want to believe that you will care for me.  Please show me what I am doing or thinking that impedes my gifts from you.

I considered going back to work hungry and feeling sorry for myself, but the hunger instinct won out, so I walked into the grocery store with my $1.50.  I got to the counter with my microwave meal hoping that I would have just enough money on my debit card to make up the difference in price.  The card was declined and I owed the store $0.69. 

"Hold on, I think I have that in pennies in my car.  I'll be right back," I told the check-out lady.

She reached into her pocket, pulled out the 69 cents and said, "Here." 

"I'll pay you back tomorrow when I get paid," I said.

"No," she said.  "Some day I am going to be somewhere and I'm going to need some change and I will be blessed because I helped you today."

I knew she was right, and I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes.  "Thank you," I said.


And long before that...
I worked for a small CPA firm and was chosen to assist in non-profit audits.  I was given a good bit of continuing education on non-profits and was even assigned the duty of filing an application for tax-exempt status for one of our clients.  One of my favorite jobs was auditor of the Georgia Baptist Children's Home, because I loved to read the minutes of their meetings and learn how God was working in the lives of those they helped.


And in 1998...
I was pregnant with my second daughter and learned that she was breach two days before going into labor.  I had an emergency C-section and shortly after she was born and while I was in recovery, I overheard a nurse say, "This baby is not breathing."

"Are they talking about our baby?" I asked my husband.

"Yes, honey, they are talking about our baby," he said.

The next two weeks were almost unbareable.  We went home without our new baby, who had been rushed to NICU and intubated.  My mother-in-law picked me up every day and drove me to the hospital an hour away to see my daughter in NICU.

One morning before we left, I opened the paper to see a story about the Georgia Baptist Children's Home's new headquarters that was being built in Palmetto.  Having audited them, of course I was interested in the story, but I don't think I would have missed it even if I had not had that experience because there on the front page was a big picture of the stained-glass window that was to go into their new building.  It was a picture of Jesus and the children!  I have been unable to find a picture online of the exact window, but it looked something like this:

I knew right then that God was going to take care of my baby!  And he has!  Today she is a beautiful, healthy 12-year-old.  She is also left-handed, so I call her my backwards child!


Back to November 5, 2010...
Dr. Patel ran a number of tests.  My vision in my right eye tested 20/350.  He even did an ultrasound of the eye to make sure that my retina looked healthy.  It did!

We began to discuss the costs of surgery.  I told him that I had some friends who said they were raising money for me and that I was charged with the task of "paying it forward."  I told him I hoped he had some kind of foundation or something that I would some day be able to contribute to.  He said, "Actually, I have been wanting to start a foundation but haven't done that yet."

"Oh my God," I said, "I know how to do that!"

We made a deal that for part of the cost of my surgery, I get to set up his foundation!  Dr. Patel is from India, and he explained that in India, the cost of cataract surgery is only $10.  He wants to set up this foundation to receive donations that will be used to restore sight to people in India!!  Because I am broke, God is going to use this experience to help people in another part of the world!!

"I think this is a God moment," I told Dr. Patel.

"I think it is too," he said.

Continued...

Blind Faith

Story continued from Seeing Eye Dog

On Monday, November 1, 2010, I realized that the lack of vision in my right eye was not just because I was tired from an exciting weekend out of town with two of my best girl friends.  I posted to my Facebook profile:

My journey into blindness has officially begun. The cataract in my right eye has grown. Thank you God that today I'll be able to meet my obligations with the use of my left eye. I don't have health insurance or the money for cataract surgery, but I trust you, God. I know you are capable of performing miracles and that you pour out your spirit and grace for those of us who don't deserve it!

I had been learning to do the next right thing, that God offers grace (unmerited favor), and that blessings come when I give God's gift of free will back to him.  So I got up and went to work.

About halfway there, I got scared.  "I can't see to drive!," I thought.  I really needed to talk to someone about this and picked up my phone to call a friend.  Just as I did, I received a phone call from Robert.

"Hey, I saw your Facebook update and I'm concerned," he said.

I told Robert he called right on time, and that I was scared.  I have no doubt that God moved Robert to call me right when I needed to talk to someone.

That day at work was difficult.  I had several moments of self-pity and fear, but I was able to meet the day's obligations with my left eye.

By the next day, I was frustrated and getting headaches and someone at work convinced me I needed to go to the eye doctor.  "Maybe it's just an eye infection and not the cataract," someone suggested.  "Maybe it's a brain tumor," said the fearful little voice in my head.

I left work to visit Dr. Spence.  At one point during the testing Dr. Spence said, "Sorry about the bright light in your eyes," to which I quipped, "That's OK, I've been looking for a white light experience!"

I used the time spent waiting for my eyes to dialate to meditate.  I thanked God for all the things I had seen in my life:  my daughters' and grand-daughter's beautiful faces, mountain tops and oceans, smiles from friends, etc., etc.  I really felt God's presence during that time I spent waiting.

Dr. Spence showed me a picture of the cataract, and it looked as though a glacier had grown over my eye.  He said he was unable to see through the cataract to see my retina, and that the optic nerve head was barely visible, but thought that my normal pupillary function and red coloration (somewhere?!) was an indication that my retina was intact.  He also said he would call me the next day to give me some advice on where I might be able to obtain services.

The next day, a Wednesday, I stayed home from work and started to call or email the following organizations:

Center For the Visually Impaired
Georgia Council of The Blind
American Foundation for the Blind
Blind and Low Vision Services of North Georgia
Prevent Blindness
The Place
Mission Cataract
United Way

I didn't even get all the way through the list before I began to get really discouraged.  These organizations were in the business of providing for people who had no hope of having their sight restored, whereas my vision can be completely corrected with surgery.  Thank God these organizations are there for people who need them!!  Mission Cataract has volunteer doctors mostly out west, and it would cost more to get me there from Georgia than the surgery itself!

It turns out I had no need to become discouraged, because my friends were already at work on another idea.  My friend Keith said to me, "Make an appointment with the surgeon.  It's time to start talking about your journey away from blindness!"

That afternoon, Dr. Spence's assistant called and referred me to Dr. Patel at Milan Eye Center.

Continued...

Seeing Eye Dog

Story continued from Picture Yourself In A Boat On A River

This story really begins way back in about 1993, when I first started on my journey to know God, and met a man named Robert.  Neither of us can remember the details of exactly when or where we met, but I believe, and I think Robert would agree, that a lifelong friendship was started then.  I remember long, beautiful rides on the back of his Harley into the north Georgia mountains in the fall, and a trip to Washington, D.C. for Rolling Thunder on Memorial Day, 1994.

Robert and I lost touch for many years, and were recently reunited at a birthday party for some mutual friends.  It was then that I heard a wonderful story about Robert's dog, Murphy.  I can't tell the story as well as Robert can, but it goes something like this:

It was Robert's birthday, and he went for a walk in the woods in his neighborhood.  Along the path, he found a dog who had been brutally beaten in the head with a sledgehammer.  He took the dog to a vet, who told him he could either have the dog put down or they would give him an estimate of the cost to care for the dog.  "But it was my birthday!," Robert says, "And I couldn't let the dog be put down on my birthday!"  The vet's estimate was about $3,000. 

Meanwhile, the police and local news media were called.  The story made national news.

Dog severely beaten with sledgehammer

Murphy the Dog Heading Home

UPDATE on Murphy The Dog Who Was Beaten With A Hammer

Help Save Murphy the Dog!

Murphy the Dog

Donations came pouring in, an account was set up for Murphy at Wachovia, and Robert says about $37,000 was given to Murphy. Murphy ended up losing his left eye. The vet bill ended up being about $10,000, and Robert keeps the rest in the account in case Murphy has any future medical bills.

UPDATED: Dog Beaten With Sledgehammer, Recovering – Local Story

Continued...

Picture Yourself In A Boat On A River

Almost two years ago, at age 37, I was told I have a cataract in each of my eyes and that I would be requiring cataract surgery to restore my vision sometime in the future.  During the period since, I have been unemployed or under-employed, and have remained uninsured. 

On July 15, 2010, I visited my optometrist, Dr. Gregory Payne, because my glasses didn't seem to be helping.  He explained that the vision in my right eye had improved to about 20/30.  I was amazed because I had required corrective lenses from the time I was 12-years-old.  I have since learned that this is a phenomenon called "second sight", which is a temporary improvement in vision caused by the cataract.  He fitted me for a contact in my left eye, which still required a corrective lens, and sent me on my way.

On the afternoon of October 31, 2010, just over three months later, I noticed that I was experiencing a loss of vision in my right eye.  I returned to Alpharetta Eye Care to see Dr. Timothy Spence on Tuesday, November 2, 2010.  While there, I learned that my the cataract in my right eye had grown dense and was almost completely eclipsing my iris.  The vision in my right eye had become 20/200.  (That means that what a person with normal eyesight can see from 200 feet, I have to be 20 feet from to see what they see.)

Additionally, Dr. Spence explained that I likely only had months before my left eye followed suit.

So there I was, an under-employed accountant completely dependent on my eyesight to work, broke, uninsured, and going blind. 

That's when I started to see miracles happen...

Jog Falls, Cataract of the Sharavati River, India

Continued...