On Monday, November 1, 2010, I realized that the lack of vision in my right eye was not just because I was tired from an exciting weekend out of town with two of my best girl friends. I posted to my Facebook profile:
My journey into blindness has officially begun. The cataract in my right eye has grown. Thank you God that today I'll be able to meet my obligations with the use of my left eye. I don't have health insurance or the money for cataract surgery, but I trust you, God. I know you are capable of performing miracles and that you pour out your spirit and grace for those of us who don't deserve it!I had been learning to do the next right thing, that God offers grace (unmerited favor), and that blessings come when I give God's gift of free will back to him. So I got up and went to work.
About halfway there, I got scared. "I can't see to drive!," I thought. I really needed to talk to someone about this and picked up my phone to call a friend. Just as I did, I received a phone call from Robert.
"Hey, I saw your Facebook update and I'm concerned," he said.
I told Robert he called right on time, and that I was scared. I have no doubt that God moved Robert to call me right when I needed to talk to someone.
That day at work was difficult. I had several moments of self-pity and fear, but I was able to meet the day's obligations with my left eye.
By the next day, I was frustrated and getting headaches and someone at work convinced me I needed to go to the eye doctor. "Maybe it's just an eye infection and not the cataract," someone suggested. "Maybe it's a brain tumor," said the fearful little voice in my head.
I left work to visit Dr. Spence. At one point during the testing Dr. Spence said, "Sorry about the bright light in your eyes," to which I quipped, "That's OK, I've been looking for a white light experience!"
I used the time spent waiting for my eyes to dialate to meditate. I thanked God for all the things I had seen in my life: my daughters' and grand-daughter's beautiful faces, mountain tops and oceans, smiles from friends, etc., etc. I really felt God's presence during that time I spent waiting.
Dr. Spence showed me a picture of the cataract, and it looked as though a glacier had grown over my eye. He said he was unable to see through the cataract to see my retina, and that the optic nerve head was barely visible, but thought that my normal pupillary function and red coloration (somewhere?!) was an indication that my retina was intact. He also said he would call me the next day to give me some advice on where I might be able to obtain services.
The next day, a Wednesday, I stayed home from work and started to call or email the following organizations:
Center For the Visually Impaired
Georgia Council of The Blind
American Foundation for the Blind
Blind and Low Vision Services of North Georgia
Prevent Blindness
The Place
Mission Cataract
United Way
I didn't even get all the way through the list before I began to get really discouraged. These organizations were in the business of providing for people who had no hope of having their sight restored, whereas my vision can be completely corrected with surgery. Thank God these organizations are there for people who need them!! Mission Cataract has volunteer doctors mostly out west, and it would cost more to get me there from Georgia than the surgery itself!
It turns out I had no need to become discouraged, because my friends were already at work on another idea. My friend Keith said to me, "Make an appointment with the surgeon. It's time to start talking about your journey away from blindness!"
That afternoon, Dr. Spence's assistant called and referred me to Dr. Patel at Milan Eye Center.
Continued...
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